Excited x hesitant for the future


December 1st is going to be the day I’m going to send my application to the University and I’m nervous/excited/fearful/in doubt/happy and all the possibly emotions a human being can hold.

For the University, my course and for the start of a independent life in a different country I’m definitely excited and cheerful. I can’t wait to do that!

But for the fact I’ll probably (105% sure) not going to be a professional ballet dancer or study ballet to follow it as a carreer, I’m devasted and sad, but I already knew that, I still need to accept and move on, what’s not going to be easy. That’s the thing I regret most in life. To have not realized how bad my first ballet school was and to have spent all those 6 years there without learn a thing. With all the years I studied ballet, I would have already graduated. I’ve been in love with ballet for my whole life, but now is just a dream that is too far away.

Back to the positive and good things in my future life, I’m still in doubt if they will accept me in the Uni, but if they do, I’ll probably be the happiest person on Earth. I’m already too excited for see the apartments options, buying my home things, my pans, towels, (yes, I’m excited for buying house things, that’s my level of excitement) stationery and all that stuff. I want to learn all the new things in this course!

About dance, I’m planning to still frequent ballet classes, even if the adult classes, due my different times in college. I already have a (great) ballet school I’ve been following on social medias and checking their works, and they are amazing. Really. So I’ll see how that works.

Also, for the beginning of next year, I’ll have a 10 days ballet Summer Intensive in January (great one!),  which is also going to have two auditions for Joffrey Ballet School and Boston Ballet School in the end of  the SI, and I’ll apply for the School of Dance of São Paulo too, the Municipal, for the free adult courses. The teachers and the space they have there are wonderful! My teacher & friend does there, and it’s an amazing place!

Independent of which path I’m going to be able to follow, I know the future will be great and I’ll have loads of good opportunities, looking foward to that, while I live my happy present moments!

Hope you have a nice start of week!


Arissa Ayumi

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